SMILES

She woke up to the sudden sound of her alarm.

Beep. Beep. Beep.

The dull, monotonous tone shook her from her slumber, dragging her away from thoughts of yellow flowers, green fields and laughter. Of happiness and warmth. Of freedom.

She sighed. Another day. Another long, long day.

Unwillingly stumbling out of bed, her routine began. She stood under the searing stream of her shower, mindlessly allowing the water to wash away her fatigue- hoping it would. It never did, not really.

She silently padded to the sink, leaving a trail of droplets behind. Brush. It was time to brush her teeth, she reminded herself. She placed her toothbrush at her mouth and continued. Up, down. Up, down. Left, right. Left, right. And repeat. She waited until she could no longer bear the burn of the toothpaste on her tongue and gargled.

She sighed. Another day. Another long, long day.

Everything was paced painstakingly slow. Time felt as though it were suspended- held at a standstill. She tiptoed to her kitchen and pulled out something to eat. She chewed in silence, not wanting to disturb the ominous quiet of her apartment. Her hollow, empty apartment. She had tried her hand at decorating and was satisfied with how it had turned out, but couldn't wash that stubborn silence away. Why wouldn't it go away?

She sighed.

Giving up her sorry excuse of a breakfast, she decided to head to work. The commute was draining; any semblance of energy she could have mustered up, slipped away. There was not much she could do about it. That was the way things were. That was just the way things were. Work. She had work to do. She entered her office and found a pile of files immediately thrust into her arms. Someone somewhere yelled something about sorting through paperwork and off she went, traversing through the mounds of unorganized sheets.

9 tiring, exhausting hours later, she was finally allowed to head homewards. Home? She sighed.

She entered her apartment and shuffled her way through the dark entryway, grabbing some leftovers from the weekend's take out, and shoving it into the microwave oven. She waited for the food to heat up, rubbing her arms to retain the dissipating warmth. Her apartment always was unexplainably cold. The timer went off, but her food was still chilly. She popped it back in the oven and waited, again. The timer went off and the seconds slipped by, but its efforts were of no avail.

She sighed, making a mental note to get that fixed.

Later.

Maybe.

Abandoning her half-hearted quest for food, she groggily made her way to her bed and slumped into it. Her eyes drooped to a close and she was deep in her slumber, with a whisper of a sigh escaping into the quiet room. Another day. Another long, long day.

Beep. Beep. Beep.

She woke up to the sudden sound of her alarm.

She tediously went through her morning routine, showering, brushing, but decided to pick up the newspaper while munching on a slice of toast. What a change to her mind-numbing morning, the sarcasm of her thoughts added to her misery. Written in a fancy font at the corner of the page, were the words, "Think Long And Hard. Think long and hard and list 5 things that bring an immediate smile to your face!"

She paused.

Her brain scrambled to come up with some form of an answer. 5 things… 5 things... 5 things… She wracked her mind, begging it to prove that she too had some joy in her life. Just then, the sound of quite pitter-patters filled the silence of her apartment. Rain. It was raining! She loved the rain. Her lips curled upwards in the most subtle way as the rush of joy started to spread.

One down, 4 more to go! She thought long and hard, long and hard and finally got another. She thought of sunflowers. She smiled. She thought of the old lady she meets every day at the subway calling her pretty. She smiled. She thought of the sound of annoying, joyful laughter from the kid's next door. She smiled. She thought of the drool covered faces of babies she sees at the super-market. She smiled. She thought of the cute mismatched socks the young woman at her office wears. She smiled. She thought of the loud, friendly street vendors offering deliciously unhealthy food. She smiled.

She smiled and smiled until her mouth hurt. She smiled and smiled until she felt butterflies fluttering in her belly. She smiled until numbness spread around her mouth.

Giggling. The sound of pure, unadulterated giggling filled her empty apartment and she laughed. There were so many things that made her smile. It was as if she has started to see life in blooming colors again.

That day, she greeted the lady at the subway with a smile. She entered her office with a smile. She left her office with a smile. She went to bed with a smile. Life was and is, by no means easy, but she had her smiles, and they were enough.

She woke up to the sudden sound of her alarm.

Beep. Beep. Beep.

She smiled. Another day. Another long, long day.

She smiled.

"We must always be on the lookout for the presence of wonder."

-E.B. White